So, what’s your story?

Of all the wonderful things there are to be thankful for while living abroad, one of my most treasured things is my best friend and partner in crime. I am so grateful for speaking to her that day at the pool…..so long ago. She was standing there in a pink bikini and I thought, “Well, I am going to look like a weirdo, but I have to say something. I want to look like that!” So, I did….and we met…and we became inseparable. We fit together perfectly- as if we had the same lives…only 10 years apart. (I am 52, she is 42). We like to do the same things, we have the same backgrounds and we have the same problems. We talk over each other because we are so excited and we say the same things at the same time. There are no bad feelings and there’s always a genuine feeling of friendship, whether we get things for each other at the store, or meet to work out or indulge at the spa. A wonderful match. I can spend all day with her and then go home and text her. I never get tired! And I love her children. They are fantastic. We are on group chats together..and I love reading stories my girl writes for homework. I love the talented artist…and I love the little Michael Phelps.  I feel comfortable with the grandparents…they are lovely people and I love being part of their lives.

They were supposed to say until June. But things happen. They do all the time. Plans change. And it’s time for them to go. As expatriates….I hate hearing this. “It’s time for them to go.” It’s their time….so many people leave us…right when things are getting good…we are in the groove. We know each other. We enjoy each other…and then? Their company calls them home. It sounds like something from The Planet of the Apes….”How long were you away?” “Where is your home country?” Just like being asleep in a pod for who knows how many years and suddenly waking up in New Jersey, not knowing what has happened to home while you were away….

It happens so much, they are called “Leavers”. “Oh, they are leavers”, people whisper…..they pack out…they go to the apartments or hotel until their flights..and then they are gone. Gone to their next adventure or home. It doesn’t matter. It still breaks my heart. And we are lonely. Maybe until the next “Arrivers” come..and we meet new people. But this time is different. These are special people to me. These are people that I will truly miss every day…and will see again. I have become better for knowing them. This friend has literally changed my life. She is energetic, and positive and has encouraged me so much….she has no idea. She says, “You can do it! You have before!” And I do….Her family is an inspiration. Her children are amazing and have grown so much in the little time I have known them.

I will miss them more than I care to admit.  There is nothing worse than someone saying, “How could you do this to me??? What am I supposed to do without you???” Like they have a say. Like they want you to be miserable while they jet off to their next adventure. I am trying my hardest to be an “expat”. Wave to them as they leave….blow kisses and promise to see them soon. I am sad beyond imagination. I will miss the constant back and forth of Wechat and WhatsApp…and I will miss her amazing smile…her positive enthusiasm towards life and so much more. What a gift it was to have met her and to have become friends. I will miss her children, her pets, and her funny way of asking what I am doing for the day….”So, what’s your story?”

As Dr. Seuss says, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” I am trying so hard to smile, but right now? I can’t.